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There were never any more than a few thousand of us to begin with, and now, outside of Bombay (which we more or less made, even if the Marathas won’t allow for it now) and the towns of coastal Gujarat, where we first arrived all those centuries ago, we don’t even get up to a hundred in any place. A gentleman.’ ‘What do you mean, not that sort of man? When I went to America last year for three weeks, I joined a salsa class and all the women became friends with me on Facebook and now they want to come and see me in Bombay.

A family emigrating to New York or Toronto, a nasty car accident, two women marrying outside the faith – such events require that the demographic sums for us be done all over again. ’ ‘Just wanted to see what she looked like.’ Uncle Sheriyar appeared again, whirling my keyring around on his forefinger like Arjuna used to do with his sudarshan chakra in the Mahabharat television series. And in just ten days in Bombay.’ ‘Oh, Uncle, you’re embarrassing Dr Billimoria with your street language. There’s only one kind of man, else he’s not a man at all.’ ‘Uncle, you’ve got to thank your lucky stars that you were young in the middle of the twentieth century and that Auntie fell in love with you, because with your attitudes, any girl in the twenty-first century would run miles from you.’ ‘Poof! I tell them that I’d love it, but the only thing is that your Auntie wouldn’t exactly be thrilled.’ ‘Where is Auntie?